After eighteen years with my one and only brother I have realized that we definitely have our ups and downs. In our younger years we fought back and fourth constantly, but as we grew up we shifted closer and closer together. After he realized that he was the cool older brother and I just constantly wanted to hang out with him and his friends because I loved him, he didn't mind too much when I was constantly by his side. (Of course there was a little coaxing by my parents and his friends!) Don't think that everything was perfect after that though, we still pushed our limits with each other a little too far sometimes and get irritated for stupid reasons, but that's what brothers and sisters do right? As we reached our teenage years dating began which interfered with the relationship with my brother and I. He would get mad at me for becoming friends with his girlfriends and he would get very protective with my towards my boyfriends, but that all changed. The one girl that he stayed with for about three years became a huge wedge between him and I. Eventually we did get over it after he broke up with her, but it was weird. Now things have completely twisted all over again. While dating my now ex boyfriend, my brother was friends with my ex, but they weren't close, but now that we are broken up my brother seems to want to be best friends with him. They have become completely inseperable and it is rediculous. I got a phone call from my dad while at work warning me that my ex was at my house drinking with my brother, needless to say I did not return home until very late that night. My brother has been completely unresponsive and childish towards me, he has apparently disowned me because of my curent boyfriends past, which is just that, his past. So as of now we are not on speaking grounds and it is very disturbing since he has been my lifetime best friend and I don't know what to do.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Brother Issues
After eighteen years with my one and only brother I have realized that we definitely have our ups and downs. In our younger years we fought back and fourth constantly, but as we grew up we shifted closer and closer together. After he realized that he was the cool older brother and I just constantly wanted to hang out with him and his friends because I loved him, he didn't mind too much when I was constantly by his side. (Of course there was a little coaxing by my parents and his friends!) Don't think that everything was perfect after that though, we still pushed our limits with each other a little too far sometimes and get irritated for stupid reasons, but that's what brothers and sisters do right? As we reached our teenage years dating began which interfered with the relationship with my brother and I. He would get mad at me for becoming friends with his girlfriends and he would get very protective with my towards my boyfriends, but that all changed. The one girl that he stayed with for about three years became a huge wedge between him and I. Eventually we did get over it after he broke up with her, but it was weird. Now things have completely twisted all over again. While dating my now ex boyfriend, my brother was friends with my ex, but they weren't close, but now that we are broken up my brother seems to want to be best friends with him. They have become completely inseperable and it is rediculous. I got a phone call from my dad while at work warning me that my ex was at my house drinking with my brother, needless to say I did not return home until very late that night. My brother has been completely unresponsive and childish towards me, he has apparently disowned me because of my curent boyfriends past, which is just that, his past. So as of now we are not on speaking grounds and it is very disturbing since he has been my lifetime best friend and I don't know what to do.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Small Town Drama
Why does everyone seem like they have to stick their noses in other people's business?
The transition from a big city, Phoenix, Arizona, to the small town of Bad Axe, Michigan didn't seem like a big deal, that is until I grew up. Now I can see that every move you make is being monitored and judged by at least a small group of people. It's not just Bad Axe either, it seems to be the entire county, Huron County. It seems to suck a person in like a giant black vortex. If you don't have a plan to get yourself out, you will most likely be stuck living in the drama and nosiness for ever.
Huron County is like a huge high school. No one seemed to be able to let go all of the drama that makes up the high school. Every one thinks they can talk badly about a person or make fun of them, even though it is not right. People do not know the full story of a person's life. The expression of you not really knowing someone until you walk a mile in someone's shoes comes to mind now, but could it really only be a mile? I know that my life story could not be learned in one measly mile.
Taking myself back to high school, I can see that everyone seemed to stab everyone in the back. What is the point of pretending to be someone's best friend? I really do not understand. Yes you should be nice to everyone, even if you don't particularly like someone, but to pretend to be their best friend? Gossiping about people is pretty much Huron County's national past time. Ignoring everything and everyone seems to work for me. You can't let what other people think about you bother you, if you do, it will just eat away at your insides until you can't take it anymore and you finally snap. Huron County is such a wonderful place to live... if the drama didn't exist anyway. It is nice to get away from the city life and be able to walk around a woods and see deer come within a few yards of you and I would never move away if I didn't have to deal with the small town drama.
The transition from a big city, Phoenix, Arizona, to the small town of Bad Axe, Michigan didn't seem like a big deal, that is until I grew up. Now I can see that every move you make is being monitored and judged by at least a small group of people. It's not just Bad Axe either, it seems to be the entire county, Huron County. It seems to suck a person in like a giant black vortex. If you don't have a plan to get yourself out, you will most likely be stuck living in the drama and nosiness for ever.
Taking myself back to high school, I can see that everyone seemed to stab everyone in the back. What is the point of pretending to be someone's best friend? I really do not understand. Yes you should be nice to everyone, even if you don't particularly like someone, but to pretend to be their best friend? Gossiping about people is pretty much Huron County's national past time. Ignoring everything and everyone seems to work for me. You can't let what other people think about you bother you, if you do, it will just eat away at your insides until you can't take it anymore and you finally snap. Huron County is such a wonderful place to live... if the drama didn't exist anyway. It is nice to get away from the city life and be able to walk around a woods and see deer come within a few yards of you and I would never move away if I didn't have to deal with the small town drama.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Moving On
How can two people be in a long term relationship without trusting their significant other?
This is one of the reasons that I was able to remove myself from the relationship so easily. I was not able to do anything that I wanted, unless I asked him first. It was pretty bad when I have never spent the night at my best friend of three years house until I broke up with him. At first I thought that I would be heartbroken when I went through with the breakup, but I surprisingly was not really sad at all. I am beginning to realize that I had removed myself from my relationship with him a long time ago, but did not realize it until recently. After being with the same person and experiencing so many firsts with him, it was like looking into a fog. I did not know my life without him, and it was terrifying. Once the fog cleared it was like an instant relief though, a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I could breath again.
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Although we broke up, I still had to deal with him. He was turning into a stalker or something. I had to turn my cell phone off because he was calling it again and again. Thank God for silent and vibrate, or I think I would have gone insane. The day after the breakup he came to my house three separate times within two hours, trapping me in the room by standing in front of every doorway that we went into. I understand that breakups are hard for some people, but trying to trap me only makes it worse. Although I still get the occasional facebook message, text or phone call from him, it seems to be getting better and I feel like I am able to move on and live my life happily.
This is one of the reasons that I was able to remove myself from the relationship so easily. I was not able to do anything that I wanted, unless I asked him first. It was pretty bad when I have never spent the night at my best friend of three years house until I broke up with him. At first I thought that I would be heartbroken when I went through with the breakup, but I surprisingly was not really sad at all. I am beginning to realize that I had removed myself from my relationship with him a long time ago, but did not realize it until recently. After being with the same person and experiencing so many firsts with him, it was like looking into a fog. I did not know my life without him, and it was terrifying. Once the fog cleared it was like an instant relief though, a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I could breath again.
Although we broke up, I still had to deal with him. He was turning into a stalker or something. I had to turn my cell phone off because he was calling it again and again. Thank God for silent and vibrate, or I think I would have gone insane. The day after the breakup he came to my house three separate times within two hours, trapping me in the room by standing in front of every doorway that we went into. I understand that breakups are hard for some people, but trying to trap me only makes it worse. Although I still get the occasional facebook message, text or phone call from him, it seems to be getting better and I feel like I am able to move on and live my life happily.
Life
At the age of eighteen, I am realizing that life isn't as simple as it seemed to be when I was a child. Figuring life out is a lifelong project.
As a child everything was easy, I was handled like a fragile piece of china. As I grew older though, I realized life had a bigger meaning. After almost eight years of city life in the Arizona desert, my parents picked my brother and I up and moved to the small town of Bad Axe, Michigan.
Looking back, it seems that life started going downhill after arriving here. After a few years i was wrung through my parents divorce. Although it has been years since the divorce, I still feel like its new. Its almost like losing a family member, everything gets turned upside down and backwards. I was forced to choose between living with one parent or the other and peoples opinions were very persuading. I wish I could have seen what people were trying to tell me, but my decisions made me who I am today.
My life seems to be finally turning for the better, and I am a lot happier than I have been in a long time. After dating a guy for almost four years and breaking up with him one month after we got engaged, I am beginning to really realize how valuable life is. Being with someone that feels the need to control my entire life is not the way that i want to live anymore and I am very glad that I realized this before we got married. I finally was able to let go and understand that I could not be with someone for the rest of my life that felt the need to control me and had no trust for me.
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